When tragedy strikes, how will you react? Will you lean on your family for support? Will you pull away? Will you put the blame on yourself or on your spouse? Or on God? Will you stay the same or become someone else?
These are just some of the questions that ran through my mind as I read Truly, Madly, Guilty. Obviously since I’ve said it there is some type of tragedy in this book, but since it’s not evident from the first page I’m not going to tell you what it is. Part of the experience is trying to figure out what ‘incident’ the characters are referring to as you re-live the memories sprinkled through their present-day lives. What could have happened to make people question themselves, their friends, their spouses? Their lives seem pretty ordinary. No different from mine really. So what is this ‘incident’ that’s got everyone riled?
Every character in this book has their own method of handling things, and while I can look at them from the outside and see what they’re doing wrong or what they could do better, I’m not sure I could do things differently if I were in their place. I’ve been fortunate not to have to face things that tested every aspect of my life, and I’m not sure how I would react in that scenario, even after learning a lesson from these characters about what helps and what hurts when you’re living through tough times.
This book opened my eyes to how varied and unpredictable emotions can be when they are tested. It made me wonder how I would respond in their place. I’d like to think I wouldn’t alienate people, but I’m not really the type to over-share or ask for help (ironic I know given what I’m sharing here, but writing to no one is easier than talking to someone). I’d like to think I would lean on my family, especially my husband, for support, but deep down I know I’d insist I was fine whether that was true or not. And I really like to think I wouldn’t blame anyone, myself included, if there was no blame to be placed. But I also know how much I like answers, so I’d try to manufacture them which could lead to feelings of blame and resentment. In short, I’d probably do all the things that are unhealthy and counterproductive, knowing all the while what I was doing but unable to stop it, because it’s not like you prepare for dealing with tough times; you pray that you don’t have to.
We all have our own definitions of ordinary, but I imagine for all of us life is fairly ordinary right up until it isn’t. Don’t we all think some of the sad and tragic aspects of life happen to other people, not us? So what happens if the sad and tragic finds us? Do we bend, do we break, or do we bounce back?
Michele Lenard 